This memorial was created in loving memory

         of our beautiful baby girl Leah Porter 
       who wasborn sleeping at 40 weeks gestation on 
Wednesday 22nd March 2006,
weighing 5lb 12oz. 
We will remember her for ever.
You are always in our hearts  
Our beautiful baby girl.
We all love you so much.
xxxxxxxxxxx

22/03/07
Happy 1st Birthday Leah,

I don't know where the last year has gone,

and i wish more than anything you were here with us all.

 I miss and love you more than words

 could ever say and it breaks my heart

thinking of all the things you would be doing now.

 We will be coming to see you soon so catch

 the balloons we send up to heaven for you.

You are definately in a special place over that rainbow.

 So have a wonderful party with all your angel friends

 and dont eat too much cake.
I will love you forever and a day sweetheart.

 I still miss you like it happened yesterday.
All my love always
Mummy

]

Just once I wish I could have spent

 a late night awake holding you in my arms.

 Just once i wish i could have

gently laid you in your cot.

 I wish I could have changed your nappy, 

chosen an outfit for you for the day,

 given you a bath, given you a bottle...

 Just once I wish I could have heard you cry out

 in loneliness for me, spent time alone with you.

 Just the two of us,

 strolled you proudly through the shops.

 Just once I wish I could have heard the words:

"What a beautiful, healthy baby girl!!" Just Once.





"Some people can only dream of angels,
 but we held one in our arms"

Not a day goes by when we 
don't think about you.
You are our
BEAUTIFUL LITTLE PRINCESS.

Leah's new baby 2nd cousin named Faith Leah born 8/4/07


        

Mummy with your Cousin

Faith Leah

Sent to me from Michelle Juster, a wonderful friend
Thank you xxxx

    

The charity Joshua's boxes has helped

 Matt and I in so many ways.

 The memory box that we were given at the hospital

as been such a great help, we have every

memory of Leah in that box and

is the closest thing we have to her.

 

















                           




 

OUR WISHES......

I wish my baby hadn't died. I wish I had her back.

I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak

my Leah's name.

My baby lived inside me and was

very important to me.

I need to hear that she was

important to you also.

If I cry and get emotional when

you talk about Leah,

 I wish you knew that it isn't because

 you have hurt me.

My babys death is the cause of my tears.

 You have talked about my baby

 and you have allowed

 me to share my grief. I thank you for both.

Being a bereaved parent

is not contagious,

so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me.

I need you now more than ever.

I need diversions, so I do want

to hear about you,

 but I also want you to hear about me.

I might be sad and I might cry,

 but I wish you would let me

talk about Leah;

my favorite topic of the day

I know that you think of and pray

 for me often.

I also know that my

Leahs death pains you too.

 I wish you would let me know

these things through

a phone call, a card or note

, or a real big hug. 

I wish you wouldn't expect

 my grief to be over.

These first years are traumatic for me,

 but I wish you could

understand that

my grief will never be over.

I will suffer the death of Leah

until the day I die.

I am working hard in my recovery,

 but I wish you could understand that

I will never fully recover.

I will always miss my Leah

and I will always grieve that she is dead.

I wish you wouldn't expect me

"not to think about it"

or "be
happy". Neither will happen for a very

 long time, so don't frustrate yourself.

I wish you understood how my

 life has shattered.

I know it is
miserable for you to be around me

when I'm feeling

 miserable. Please be as patient with me

 as I am with you.

When I say, "I'm doing okay",

I wish you could understand that I don't "feel"

 okay and that I struggle daily.

I wish you knew that

 all of the grief reactions

I'm having are very normal. Depression,

 anger, hopelessness

and overwhelming sadness

are all to be expected.

So please excuse me when

I'm quiet and

withdrawn or irritable and cranky.

I wish you understood that

grief changes people.

 When Leah died, a big part of me died with her.

I am not the same person

I was before

 my she died and I will never

be that person again.

I wish very much that you

 could understand ~

 understand my loss and my grief. But,

 I pray daily that you will never understand. 

Just love me, and I will always remember

you as a true friend 

                     

  
I am still a Mummy; 
          
I was a Mummy from the start.
What makes me a Mummy
is that feeling in my heart.
Pregnant I was, there was a baby inside me.
For some Mummy's all it takes is to know,
they have planted that seed.
There is a bond that takes place
from the moment that you know.
Inside of your body someone
special has started to grow.
My baby didn't make it;
she is in Heaven up above.
In my heart I'm still her Mummy, 
I  am filled with endless love.
Something happens to a woman
when her seedling starts to grow.
Unless you have felt these feelings 
it is impossible to know.
She meant the world to me
and I will never be the same.
All I need is for you to listen
when I wish to say her name.
She may be gone but she's not forgotten
I miss her each and every day.
Could you imagine that
it would be any other way?
What kind of Mummy would I be
if I forgot my daughter?
I had planned my whole life around her,
all the great things we would have done.
I may have another child,
possibly another two.
There is something I know for certain, 
she will always be my first child,
my daughter, and I'm her Mummy too. 
            
          




   






I have a little Grandaugher, who means the world to me
She's living with the Angels and is as special as can be
And even though she's up there, playing in the clouds
She's still my precious Grandaughter and I am so very proud
Her picture takes pride of place on my living room wall
Ready to be admired by all who come to call
I know I can not hold her, or bounce her on my knee
But only have to close my eyes, her little face to see
I never will stop missing her and wishing she were here
But sometimes I feel, indeed I know that she is very near
So play happily little Grandaugher, you will never be forgot
I love you so and always will, though I miss you such a lot .

Love and miss you Leah,
LOTS OF LOVE 
NANNY CAROL XXX

 


  

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.

Don't worry about making me cry
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.

I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.

You ask me how I am doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime. 

                                                                 





                                                         

          
                           
     I carried you so lovingly,
Within my gentle womb...
And little did I realise,
Your life would end too soon.

I never got the chance to say
"I love you, little one"...
Before I held you in my arms,
Your life on earth was done.

The grief is indescribable,
To lose a child this way...
All the many hopes and dreams,
Just vanished on that day.

I know I'll see the sun shine bright
Upon my baby's face...
When I finally get to heaven,
All my pain will be erased.

We'll soar the skies together,
As angels two by two...
We'll have a sweet reunion
This mother's dream come true. 
                                   

      When you lose a parent, you lose your past.
When you lose a spouse, you lose your present...
But when you lose a child, you lose your future.

A wife who loses her husband is called a widow.
A husband who loses his wife is called a widower.
A child who loses their parents is called an orphan.
There is no word for a parent who loses a child...
That's how awful the loss is. 

     
 
   


A million prayers won't bring you back
I know because I've tried 
Neither will a million tears
I know because I've cried. 

No matter how I spend my day 
No matter what I do
No morning dawns or evening falls
That I don't think of you. 



An eternal flame for a very special little girl



 
 

PLEASE LIGHT A CANDLE
 SO WE KNOW YOU HAVE VISITED

    
  
                     
MUMMY'S ANGEL
 
My heart completely breaking,
my soul being ripped from me,
that Wednesday, my small one
when I'd learned you weren't to be 

How could He let this happen,
after I had felt the love,
that i had for you my baby,
Mummys Angel from above. 

To say the least you weren't expected, 
not planned but nonetheless,
my heart turned to a Mothers,
my life at last was blessed. 

I often sat up wondering,
just how we would survive,
I was prepared to die for you,
You had truly changed my life. 

I love you, our precious baby,
Mummy never will forget,
I will always hold you dearly,
Even though we've never met.. 
 
Sweet dreams my darling Angel, 
Until the time comes for me, 
Then we both will be with Jesus, 
Another good-bye will never be. 
 



There is a special Angel in Heaven
that is a part of me.
It is not where I wanted her
but where God wanted her to be.

She was here but just a moment
like a night time shooting star.
And though she is in Heaven
she isn't very far.

She touched the heart of many
like only an Angel can do.
I would've held her every minute
if the end I only knew.

So I send this special message
to the Heavens up above.
Please take care of my Angel
and send her all my love.










MATTS LETTER HE WROTE TO LEAH
(WAS READ OUT AT LEAH'S FUNERAL)

To my precious Leah,

I still cannot believe you have gone.
Me and your mummy’s world
has been turned upside down.
I know you will be happy wherever you are,
playing with all the angels,

keeping an eye on us,
making sure we stay strong.

I’m going to miss all the things
a Daddy does with his daughter
but I will be with you again to

 look after you,
and make sure your safe.
Part of me will always be with you

 and you with me.
Until the day we meet again,
I’m going to say see you soon my darling,
Leah my love for you is even greater.

Love you forever
Daddy
X   

                                                           

FATHER'S GRIEF

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief
Since "Men don't cry" and "Men are strong"
No tears can bring relief

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So that she can get some rest

They always ask if she's alright
And what shes going through
But seldom take his hand and ask
"My friend, how are you?"

He hears her cry in the night
And thinks his heart will break
He dries her tears and comforts her
But "Stays strong" for her sake

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave
Because he lost his baby too 

 

 

HI DADDY

Hi Daddy, its me,
Your baby girl in the sky.
Won't you tell me Daddy,
why does my mummy cry? 



Doesnt she know I'm happy here, 
Heaven's a beautiful place
Oh, how it hurts me, Daddy
To see tears streaming down Mummy's face. 



Daddy, tell her I'm much better here, 
Jesus fixed my heart.
But when I see mommy crying,
It just about tears it apart. 



I know it hurt you both, Daddy,
When Jesus took me away.
But you and mummy remember,
We'll be together again someday. 



I can't wait to hug you,
I never got the chance before.
When its time for you to come,
I'll be waiting at heavens door. 



Then you'll both understand,
Jesus knew where I needed to be.
What a marvelous place to live,
Just wait and you both shall see.

 

Please let my Mummy know, Daddy,
That I heard every word she said.
And I remember her softly kissing me
As I lay cuddled in her arms. 



Just one more thing Daddy,
Before I have to go,
I love you both very much
And just wanted you to know. 



                               
    
"A STILL FATHER"

My child is gone
I hardly remember
Her coming
A moment in time
That was both
The longest
And shortest
Of my life.

Anticipation
Devastation
And now
Reclamation.
Putting the pieces
Of my soul
In semblance
Of order.

Time to go on
Time to get on
With life
With love
With a hole
In my heart
But with joy
For that moment.

I am Leah’s father
A blessed gift
Through whom I have learned
I can love deeply
That which I cannot hold
Except in my heart
Knowing I am forever her father.

        
         

            


If snowdrops grow in Heaven,
Please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Baby's arms,
And tell her they're from me,
Tell her I love her,and miss her,
And when she turns to smile,
Place a kiss upon her cheek,
And hold her for a while,
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
But there's an ache within my Heart,
That will never go away

  

I look up at the sky at night and you are the star

 thats always shining bright xxxx  
    


You will always be Mummy and Daddys gorgeous Princess xx
               
             

  
    Leah sending angel love & kisses to Mummy & Daddy 






There is no foot so small 
that it cannot leave an        
imprint on this world.    








                






My Mum is a Survivor 

My Mum is a survivor,
Or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night,
When all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night,
And go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her,
To help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach,
That never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mum,

Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
A smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see,
Tears flowing from her eyes.
My mum tries to cope with death,
To keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows,
It is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mum,
Through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels,
Protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her...
Or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
No matter what she feels,
My surviving mum has a broken heart,
That time won't ever heal. 







My Dad is a Survivor

My dad is a survivor too
which is no surprise to me.
He's always been like a lighthouse
that helps you cross a stormy sea.

But, I walk with my dad each day
to lift him when he's down.
I wipe the tears he hides from others;
He cries when no one's around.

I watch him sit up late at night
with my picture in his hand.
He cries as he tries to grieve alone,
and wishes he could understand.

My dad is like a tower of strength.
He's the greatest of them all!
But, there are times when he needs to cry...
Please be there when he falls.

Hold his hand or pat his shoulder...
And tell him it's okay.
Be his strength when he's sad,
Help him mourn in his own way.

Now, as I watch over my precious dad
from the Heavens up above...
I'm so proud that he's a survivor...
And, I can still feel his love. 




 

 


         



25/8/06
Hello Leah,
Mummy was sad last nite, 
was thinking about the time
i knew you when you was in my tummy, 
every little kick and every hiccup! i miss it
so much and i wish i could of got to know 
you better. 
Daddy wants to say he loves you
and misses you so much and he wishes so much
that you were here with us. You are never 
far away sweetheart.
we love you with all our hearts xxx


                                                                                     
 

I didnt have to look into your eyes to fall in love with you,
I didnt have to hear you cry to know you loved me too,
I didnt need to hold your hand to cherish you for always,
Within my womb , we shared our hearts,
You touched my soul,
You sweetened my spirit,
You gave me memories i"ll always hold dear,
Yes, my heart aches since you departed too soon.
But a mothers love does not end with death,
For you are my child,
Forever my love is yours. 


 




Our precious baby angel
Our shining star above
You came into our world
And filled our hearts with love

Your perfect little face
Your long hands and toes
The love we feel for you
No one really knows

Never will we forget you
You're forever in our hearts
So spread your beautiful angel wings
And fly away to a new start 






LEAH'S ANGEL FRIENDS
www.brian-compton.memory-of.com

www.kayleigh-erceg.memory-of.com

www.benjaminrileybernard.memory-of.com

www.sophie-daniels.memory-of.com

www.andrew-whitfield-2005.memory-of.com

www.riley-herbertevans.memory-of.com

www.brandon-kyles.memory-of.com

www.shae-evans.memory-of.com

www.alexander-mal.memory-of.com

www.blaise-maddenbrown.memory-of.com 

www.stillborn-angels.memory-of.com

www.arthur-thompson.last-memories.com 

www.joseph-allan-emmerson.memory-of.com
 
www.kinsey-and-kylee-sullivan.memory-of.com 

www.sophiagracedillon.memory-of.com

www.chloe-amber-garbett.memory-of.com  


Please visit them also to keep their memory alive.






How very softly you

tiptoed into my world
Almost silently
Only a moment you stayed
But what an imprint

your footprints have

 left upon my heart.

IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY
AND MEMORIES WERE A LANE
I WOULD WALK RIGHT UP TO HEAVEN
TO BRING YOU HOME AGAIN
NO FAREWELL WORDS WERE SPOKEN
NO TIME TO SAY GOODBYE
YOU WERE GONE BEFORE I KNEW IT
AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY
MY HEART STILL ACHES WITH SADNESS
AND SECRET TEARS STILL FLOW
WHAT IT MEANT TO LOSE YOU
NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW

Everytime i see a rainbow i think of you Leah.
I love you-Mummy xxxx







We have this poem on our front room wall....
A Poem from Leah

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,
 that something stopped my heart, 
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
 I loved you from the start. 

Although my body you can’t hold,
 it doesn’t mean I’m gone,
This world was worthy not of me, 
God chose that I move on.
 
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
 what you are forced to face,
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms,
 someday we will embrace. 

There will come a time, I promise you,
 when you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
 and then you’ll understand. 

Although I never breathed your air,
 or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn’t mean I never “was”
…An Angel Never Dies. 






Some butterflies for my princess. xxxx

FOR MY MUMMY AND DADDY



Love from Leah xxxx







Irena
&
Michele
For the help with Leah's beautiful website xx

To my friends (you know who you are)

and family for being there for Matt and me

when we needed you most.

Without you we would never have

 got through the hardest time in our lives. xxx


   









The Cord

We are connected, my child and I,
by an invisible cord not seen by the eye

It's not like the cord that connects us at birth
this cord can't be seen by anyone on earth

This cord does its work right from the start
It binds us together attached to my heart

I know that it's there though no-one can see
the invisibe cord from my child to me

The strength of this cord it's hard to describe
It can't be destroyed, it can't be denied

It's stronger than any cord man could create
It withstands the test, can hold any weight

And though you're gone,

though you're not here with me
the cord is still there but no-one can see

It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore
but this cord is my lifeline as never before

I am thankful that God connects us this way
A mother and child, death can't take it away ! 



                    is for love, we love you so much